A: He'll listen to whatever you have to tell him, and he understands more than most would assume. A: I think you simply dislike that he won't do it in the manner that you prefer.
Maki: Well, I think HE doesn't like that I won't do it the way HE wants. Maki: Earlier tonight, he didn't understand something and said something that upset me, and when I tried to clarify he told me it wasn't important and tried to drop the subject. Maki: Then when I got annoyed, he asked if I even liked talking to him. Maki: Whenever I get even slightly upset, he thinks I'm judging him, or just arguing with him for fun or something. Maki: I'm not. I'm having actual feelings about something that he's ignoring. Maki: But even if I was, I'm not a nice person. If he's waiting for me to be pleasant and complimentary in conversation all the time he's going to have a problem.
A: I'm not saying it's a one-way street, nor that you need to be nice. A: I only mean to point out that he'll never be comfortable with you unless you humor him to some degree.
A: In other words, you regularly hit upon subjects that make him uncomfortable enough to deflect, and when he does you double down. A: Speaking as someone who's dated both of you: the way he engages with reality is often frustrating, but your constant needling isn't any better.
Maki: That isn't what I said at all. Maki: I know I've pushed him to share things with me before, but that isn't even what happened these past couple of times. Maki: I was the one that was uncomfortable tonight, and instead of listening to me about why, he decided it was better to just change the subject. Maki: Because he didn't think it was important, even though I was telling him it was important to me. Maki: And I'm not just guessing that. He SAID it wasn't important.
Maki: I said the party was nice because it was something fun that had nothing to do with anything that demons made us do. Maki: And he responded with something about how lots of the stuff AlcheME does is like that, and asked me if ☆ZRAEL had anything good for a party. Maki: So I tried to clarify that actually I had been including unit stuff as something I was glad wasn't involved in the party. And that I was uncomfortable with always talking about things in terms of units.
A: I can understand that discomfort. A: Unit branding isn't a problem for me, of course, but considering my family history... I do understand. A: And I don't doubt that X shoved his foot into his mouth as deep as it would go A: That said... when it comes down to it, I'm not nice either, and the raw truth of it all is that it DOESN'T matter how you feel about it. Nearly everyone associates themselves and each other by their units, and nothing you say or do will change that. This is the reality we live in. Humans are stupid, weak creatures that are desperate to find places to belong, and the units they gave us are designed to be carrots in a world full of sticks. A: It's not worth fighting over.
Maki: It is for me. Maki: It don't care if people are never going to stop associating themselves with their units. That's not even the problem. Now that I'm on ZRAEL, I think there are things about my unit that describe me well enough. Maki: I can still be angry if someone takes something specifically not about units and makes it about them. Or, like X did, act like doing unit things for fun is subversive somehow. Maki: I literally could have faded into nothing because I didn't play nice with my unit. That's not a carrot. And I'm never going to forget that. Maki: And even if they don't change their mind on anything, I expect my friends to at least care how I feel.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Maki: But if I don't, we don't talk about anything real.
no subject
no subject
no subject
A: That's a sincere question.
no subject
no subject
A: I think you simply dislike that he won't do it in the manner that you prefer.
no subject
Maki: Earlier tonight, he didn't understand something and said something that upset me, and when I tried to clarify he told me it wasn't important and tried to drop the subject.
Maki: Then when I got annoyed, he asked if I even liked talking to him.
Maki: Whenever I get even slightly upset, he thinks I'm judging him, or just arguing with him for fun or something.
Maki: I'm not. I'm having actual feelings about something that he's ignoring.
Maki: But even if I was, I'm not a nice person. If he's waiting for me to be pleasant and complimentary in conversation all the time he's going to have a problem.
no subject
A: I only mean to point out that he'll never be comfortable with you unless you humor him to some degree.
no subject
Maki: But I'm not going to just smile and nod if it's something important to me.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
A: Speaking as someone who's dated both of you: the way he engages with reality is often frustrating, but your constant needling isn't any better.
no subject
Maki: I know I've pushed him to share things with me before, but that isn't even what happened these past couple of times.
Maki: I was the one that was uncomfortable tonight, and instead of listening to me about why, he decided it was better to just change the subject.
Maki: Because he didn't think it was important, even though I was telling him it was important to me.
Maki: And I'm not just guessing that. He SAID it wasn't important.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Maki: And he responded with something about how lots of the stuff AlcheME does is like that, and asked me if ☆ZRAEL had anything good for a party.
Maki: So I tried to clarify that actually I had been including unit stuff as something I was glad wasn't involved in the party. And that I was uncomfortable with always talking about things in terms of units.
no subject
A: I can understand that discomfort.
A: Unit branding isn't a problem for me, of course, but considering my family history... I do understand.
A: And I don't doubt that X shoved his foot into his mouth as deep as it would go
A: That said... when it comes down to it, I'm not nice either, and the raw truth of it all is that it DOESN'T matter how you feel about it. Nearly everyone associates themselves and each other by their units, and nothing you say or do will change that. This is the reality we live in. Humans are stupid, weak creatures that are desperate to find places to belong, and the units they gave us are designed to be carrots in a world full of sticks.
A: It's not worth fighting over.
no subject
Maki: It don't care if people are never going to stop associating themselves with their units. That's not even the problem. Now that I'm on ZRAEL, I think there are things about my unit that describe me well enough.
Maki: I can still be angry if someone takes something specifically not about units and makes it about them. Or, like X did, act like doing unit things for fun is subversive somehow.
Maki: I literally could have faded into nothing because I didn't play nice with my unit. That's not a carrot. And I'm never going to forget that.
Maki: And even if they don't change their mind on anything, I expect my friends to at least care how I feel.