Hmmm. Then perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we are at our fullest when we are with others who understand us, drive us forward, support us. I think the difference between that and what we can accomplish alone is stark.
...Yes. I am only too lucky that I could find friends so quickly. I know not what my life was like before, but for some reason solitude feels... unnatural to me.
Most of my life before this was solitary, to the extent I even had a life before this. But I did want connections with people, so I'm glad to have friends and family here now.
I've adopted a family. Vergil's my brother, actually. He has a twin on sensitIV, a son on avante, and someone who used to be part of him on ZRAEL. They're also my brothers.
[Normally, he's pretty sharp. But oftentimes, he's also dumb as a brick, and does not even consider that Dante might be Vergil's literal twin. Like you know, the one Vergil told him tried to kill him on day one.]
I see! I would like to meet him. Vergil made a very good impression on me; a very gentle man.
...But I've had people call me sweet and kind, and I don't disagree that he has those aspects, so I suppose it just depends what part you get exposed to.
He struck me as someone who has a kind heart, but was forced to contend with too much grief in life. But he read me poetry and offered to help me deal with... the things I'll have to face here. I feel like my assessment of him is rather solid. Don't you find?
I think, like me, he'd feel bad threatening you—or anything like that—when you're... the way you are. So even if that might be his usual response, he avoids it. And I also think you want to think the best of people, so you read things positively even if he's struggling.
...I don't think I'd say he has "a kind heart." I don't think he'd say that either. Not that I don't think he cares a lot and can be very kind sometimes... but he does struggle with it, and I don't think ignoring that is giving him credit for how much it means when he accomplishes it.
[She's so small Levity entirely forgot she was threatening him. He stays silent for a time, thinking it over, too.]
You may be correct about me. I... do not think I've met anyone here yet that I felt negatively about. Nor do I wish to, to tell the truth.
[He gives a soft sigh.]
And I apologize if I came off like I wish to disregard the effort Vergil may put into being kind. To me it seemed as though he was... shy, in a way, or simply unused to having to care for others openly. But I thank you for letting me know. I shall keep it in mind in the future so I may support him.
...No, you didn't really come off like that. It's just something I've dealt with myself.
"You're a kind person at heart" or whatever may seem like a compliment, but in a way it's... telling someone that problems they have aren't actually problems. That all the people who are less positively inclined toward them just can't see the truth. That when they feel like it's easier to hurt or harder to care about people than it is for most people, they're wrong. And when you've been struggling with other people and with yourself over that kind of thing for a long time, hearing that someone thinks you're just wrong about it doesn't really feel like a compliment.
[Once again he stays quiet for a bit, processing it all, before nodding.]
I see... I did not think of it that way, but I think I can understand what you mean. I do see that manner of effort as really admirable.
[...]
Do you have many of your memories now? May I ask what it's like, finding out the kind of person you are? I tried to derive some clues and context from people around me, but it seems as though my nature is... in quite a disagreement with a number of things. 'Tis rather disorienting.
...I've been here since the beginning, so yes, I have a lot of memories. But my memories didn't tell me what kind of person I am. I decided that myself.
[the strength of her confidence is her best feature]
Well, I've had to be. It's a little complicated to explain, but I can't tell what kind of person I am from my memories.
I think that's true for everyone to a certain extent, though. You can learn where you came from, and that's more or less meaningful, depending, but everyone has to make their own choices going forward.
I do agree. And I believe it's not very different from what we would have done if we still had all our memories intact, because we would still need to make new choices. That said, I do wish to learn more of my past... but all in due time.
[Levity smiles, shaking his head a little.]
May I still take you up on the promise to tell me about other units?
Other than Baritones, ☆ZRAEL is the unit most known for acting in our own interests at the expense of others. We're the "villain" units, if you want to call them that. With the difference being that Baritones is more likely to stab you in the back, while ☆ZRAEL will stab you to your face.
There are actually very few units that sacrifice themselves for the general good of other people, though. Mostly because that rarely actually makes things better in games, so it's usually about being stupid and refusing to compromise their "morals," even if it makes things worse overall. pep!pep! and Heart Soldier Senshi have done that most dramatically.
sensitIV will take hits deliberately sometimes, but that's more because they don't care about themselves and are self-destructive in general. LiliS does sometimes too, though I think that's mostly John? And maybe spite that they tend to get hit in bad games regardless because they aren't many people's priority.
[Levity's face falls. Villain units... He steeples his fingers, resting his hands on his stomach.]
...Is that what Absinthe meant...
[He sighs.]
Maybe I ought to speak to them about the future, then. Alexander and Cosmo did tell me that they are sworn to put their unit above anyone and anything else, but... I want to hope that at least as their friend I deserve better than outright betrayal. If I am to be killed by them, I would rather it were face to face.
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I am glad, then. I think it's important to find where we belong. We are not much without others.
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But sometimes you don't have that.
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Most of my life before this was solitary, to the extent I even had a life before this. But I did want connections with people, so I'm glad to have friends and family here now.
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[this is definitely how family works]
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That's wonderful! I hope I can find a family here, too. Who is Vergil's twin? I've actually met some of sensitIV members now.
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I see! I would like to meet him. Vergil made a very good impression on me; a very gentle man.
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It does sound like he made an unusual impression.
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Is it unusual for him?
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...But I've had people call me sweet and kind, and I don't disagree that he has those aspects, so I suppose it just depends what part you get exposed to.
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I think, like me, he'd feel bad threatening you—or anything like that—when you're... the way you are. So even if that might be his usual response, he avoids it. And I also think you want to think the best of people, so you read things positively even if he's struggling.
...I don't think I'd say he has "a kind heart." I don't think he'd say that either. Not that I don't think he cares a lot and can be very kind sometimes... but he does struggle with it, and I don't think ignoring that is giving him credit for how much it means when he accomplishes it.
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You may be correct about me. I... do not think I've met anyone here yet that I felt negatively about. Nor do I wish to, to tell the truth.
[He gives a soft sigh.]
And I apologize if I came off like I wish to disregard the effort Vergil may put into being kind. To me it seemed as though he was... shy, in a way, or simply unused to having to care for others openly. But I thank you for letting me know. I shall keep it in mind in the future so I may support him.
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"You're a kind person at heart" or whatever may seem like a compliment, but in a way it's... telling someone that problems they have aren't actually problems. That all the people who are less positively inclined toward them just can't see the truth. That when they feel like it's easier to hurt or harder to care about people than it is for most people, they're wrong. And when you've been struggling with other people and with yourself over that kind of thing for a long time, hearing that someone thinks you're just wrong about it doesn't really feel like a compliment.
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I see... I did not think of it that way, but I think I can understand what you mean. I do see that manner of effort as really admirable.
[...]
Do you have many of your memories now? May I ask what it's like, finding out the kind of person you are? I tried to derive some clues and context from people around me, but it seems as though my nature is... in quite a disagreement with a number of things. 'Tis rather disorienting.
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I know not why, but... that sounds wonderful to me. You're really strong, I think!
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Well, I've had to be. It's a little complicated to explain, but I can't tell what kind of person I am from my memories.
I think that's true for everyone to a certain extent, though. You can learn where you came from, and that's more or less meaningful, depending, but everyone has to make their own choices going forward.
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I do agree. And I believe it's not very different from what we would have done if we still had all our memories intact, because we would still need to make new choices. That said, I do wish to learn more of my past... but all in due time.
[Levity smiles, shaking his head a little.]
May I still take you up on the promise to tell me about other units?
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[thinks for a moment again]
Other than Baritones, ☆ZRAEL is the unit most known for acting in our own interests at the expense of others. We're the "villain" units, if you want to call them that. With the difference being that Baritones is more likely to stab you in the back, while ☆ZRAEL will stab you to your face.
There are actually very few units that sacrifice themselves for the general good of other people, though. Mostly because that rarely actually makes things better in games, so it's usually about being stupid and refusing to compromise their "morals," even if it makes things worse overall. pep!pep! and Heart Soldier Senshi have done that most dramatically.
sensitIV will take hits deliberately sometimes, but that's more because they don't care about themselves and are self-destructive in general. LiliS does sometimes too, though I think that's mostly John? And maybe spite that they tend to get hit in bad games regardless because they aren't many people's priority.
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...Is that what Absinthe meant...
[He sighs.]
Maybe I ought to speak to them about the future, then. Alexander and Cosmo did tell me that they are sworn to put their unit above anyone and anything else, but... I want to hope that at least as their friend I deserve better than outright betrayal. If I am to be killed by them, I would rather it were face to face.
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weeps softly pretend im not late.........
time is meaningless
yesterday was a week ago and a week ago was yesterday
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