rollplayinghouse | IMEEJI INBOX

...Not at all.

[But she's definitely going to take advantage of the pause to lean down to press her lips to his collarbone and then trace a curve of the tattoo with her tongue.]

[He grits his teeth against the sounds that he surely wants to make as she purposefully goes after the sensitive.

Fine.

If she wants to play it that way.

He grips her shoulder tightly in his free hand, not aiming to push her away but to keep her in place right where she is]

[Well, okay. She pauses where she is and sucks his skin lightly between her teeth.]

[Well this is the only opportunity he's going to have to try and place the knife at her throat.

So.

Here goes nothing!]

[There's a crucial beat of time after he starts moving before she realizes what he's doing. It's obvious when she does realize by the way her muscles all tense up, but she doesn't actually move more than a few inches before the blade is at her throat and she just freezes.]

[He grins up at her wickedly, eyes flashing with that some not-all-there insanity there was before]

Is there a problem, Maki?

[She tilts her head to look at him very slowly, her face flushed but her eyes sharp.]

Do you have a problem?

I'm full of problems as you so clearly stated earlier.

[her fingers dig slightly into his ribs]

And what are you planning to do about it?

[His smile widens just that much more]

What do you think I'm going to do about it?

[a long pause. and finally:]

I don't know.

[Laughs.

Long and loud and hard, knife still pressed up to her throat]

So you don't trust me either?

[sharply]

I didn't say that.

You won't kill me. But you also won't back off without making your point.

So, I don't know what you'll do, exactly.

You didn't have to.

And this is where you and I have a problem.

You don't believe in anything unless I explicitly tell you it's true. Preferably on camera or in front of other people. It happened back during that Live with C on the ice. And it happened at the end of the last game. And multiple times in between.

And I don't believe what you say because your actions don't match your words. King has gone from a friend you occasionally kiss to someone you're involved with to someone you don't know what you would have done without all within the span of a few minutes. So now I don't trust any of it.

And this---

[He taps the knife against her throat]

Is what it feels like every goddamn time your interrogate me to get the answers that you want.

So does this feel good? Is this the kind of feelings talk you wanted?

[She goes even stiffer, at his words rather than the touch of the metal to her throat, and her words are deliberately even.]

..I believe a lot of things you don't explicitly tell me. I told you before, didn't I? That I don't need you to say things.

I wasn't interrogating you. I was deliberately trying not to do that. I just asked you what happened in the game. It's not like that wasn't all on camera to start with. And it's not like I didn't still know what happened. But you didn't just not talk about it, you lied to my face. So yeah, I was a little hurt. And I wanted to annoy you a little in return.

And on the other side, I can't tell you things I don't know you want to know. None of those things about King are conflicting. I don't casually kiss my friends, so kissing him is "involved," even if it's not romantic. And he was there for me when I was having a hard time. It's really not that complicated, and I would be happy to explain exactly what's going on, but you just said you didn't want to know.

Is there anything else you'd like to ask while you have me at knifepoint?

[...

He pulls the knife back only to twist around and chuck it as far as he can throw it.

It disappears somewhere in the grass.

Petty much?]

[Some of the tension goes out of her muscles, but if she wasn't still half pressed against him that would be hard to tell, since she doesn't otherwise move, her eyes fixed on his collarbone rather than meeting his eyes.]

I trust you. I trust you with my life, and with my heart, and with more of myself than you want me to give you, really. And that just makes me trust you more.

What trust do you want...? Trust me to not probe feelings you don't want to talk about? Trust that you know all my relationships, and that you beat them?

I'm trying, for the first thing. Because I know I've messed it up. But I can't promise I won't stumble across them.

And as for the second... you do beat them. Anyone. I'll tell you more, later, because I know it's easy to wonder what's happening when you don't know. But really, it doesn't matter who it is. I told you, there's no point even comparing.

Let's not aim for the sky while we're still crawling through the mud.

We can start with a more realistic goal and work from there. After a bad game, I want to be treated how you treat other people who've just gone through a bad game. No interrogations. And no starting stupid arguments over nothing.

[...]

When people have had a bad game I ask them what happened. I make sure they've checked with the people they care about. I tell them they don't need to act like a bad game is no big deal. I invite them over if they need. But you clearly don't want those things.

I really am trying not to interrogate you or start stupid arguments. I didn't think I was doing that. You can keep saying that, but if I don't understand why what I did was a problem I can't stop it from happening again.

Is that how you treated me after the balloon game? Or after the battle royale game where I got sniped in the head?

Funny. I remember things very differently,

[Voice still mostly even, but distress is edging in again.]

No. It isn't. I know that. And we talked about that, and I told you I was going to do better. And I was. I promise it's not that I don't understand the problem.

Then what don’t you understand?

Why you think what happened after this last game was anything like those other times! Why you think you still can't trust me because I was doing the exact same thing I screwed up before, when as far as I can tell I did the opposite!

I didn't push you, I didn't tell you to be honest with me. I didn't try to talk about it. I let you leave and have your space. I treated you exactly like you just asked to be treated.

I just wanted to keep King company, and even though you'd just told me you didn't care, I invited you to come with us. I wasn't doing that to force feelings out of you. It just seemed like it would be nice if we could all spend time together. Apparently I was wrong!

[...

Because in Intensity's mind, it was a power play. And masterfully pulled off.

She knew him well enough to predict his actions, counter them expertly, back him into a corner, and then ultimately fold.

What's it like to not see everything as a duel? Intensity sure doesn't know. And he sure isn't going to admit any of that out loud, so---

What to do when you're emotionally incompetent?]

Apparently!

[And tries to shove her off him]

[She's not expecting that at at all, and her her wrist twists a little when it hits the ground as she catches herself awkwardly. She doesn't react much to it, though, just lingers where she fell without responding.]

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